Bucking Broomstick
by S.S. Marauder
Summary: Potter had no right to be friends with her, yet somehow she was now blind to his arrogance and cruelty. Severus just couldn't understand it. That was when Severus realised that perhaps he had been wrong all along. Lily had never been his, because even when she claimed not to like Potter, she had never once looked at Severus the way she looked at him. One shot. Jily from Snape’s pov


_This fic is based on a line in the order of the phoenix book that I noticed when I was rereading the series (for about the hundredth time)._

 _During Harry's occlumency lessons, before Snape's Worst Memory, Harry see's a collection of bad memories from Snapes childhood and adolescence. Among these is a memory of a girl laughing at a scrawny boy who's trying to get on a bucking broomstick. So I thought maybe this could be a hidden reference to Harry's parents. Because Harry is both scrawny and looks like James, so James is probably somewhat scrawny too. And the memory must be bad enough to appear in this collection of bad memories, and Snape seeing the girl he 'loved' bonding with his worst enemy obviously wouldn't be happy. Also I really wanted to write a fic from Snape's point of view._

 _Anyway, here it is. Hope you enjoy._

...

Severus scowled as he exited the transfiguration classroom, cursing McGonogall for the D he'd just received on his overdue essay. If it had been any other teacher he might have complained about the failing grade, arguing that he hadn't meant to turn it in late and McGonagll only gave him a failing grade because of blatant favouritism towards the Gryffindor students.

In reality though, Severus knew better. The essay had been shoddy to begin with, and he wasn't all that surprised that he'd lost marks for not handing it in on time. And it's not like he'd be able to tell McGonagll the real reason it was late. _"Sorry Professor, I couldn't finish my essay because I was attending a secret meeting with my housemates about what I needed to do to become a Death Eater."_ Yea, that'd go down well, alright.

In truth, the real reason he was fuming wasn't because he'd failed, but because bloody Potter had got an O. Arrogant, rude, head-boy Potter had got top marks, and to make matters even worse, Lily had been all over him for it.

Severus had never been good at transfiguration, but Lily used to study with him, and that had made it easier. Now though, Severus wasn't even passing the subject, and Lily seemed to be getting friendlier and friendlier with Potter everyday.

He still couldn't get the disgusting image out of his head of Lily actually hugging Potter in the middle of the bloody class. All because he'd helped her study for the test and she'd gotten an 'exceeds expectations' on it.

It wasn't like Lily even needed Potters help. Transfiguration may be her worst subject, but she was still brilliant at it.

Lily wasn't supposed to be friendly with Potter, she wasn't supposed to smile at him when he got top marks in transfiguration, or laugh at his jokes, or sit with him at meals, or walk with him and his little group of idiots between classes.

No, Lily was supposed to be Severus' friend. She was supposed to spend time with him, not Potter. Laugh with him, smile at him, study for transfiguration with him. But she hadn't done that since fifth year after the fight by the lake. She hadn't even spoken to him, besides the few times she'd warned him to stay away when Severus had tried to talk to her.

Lily had forgiven Potter easily enough last year, but she wouldn't even look at Severus, when he was the one she was supposed to be friends with.

Then, to no one's surprise Lily had gotten head girl, and Severus had thought that he'd be head boy, and then Lily would have to talk to him, but no, Potter, despite not even being a prefect, had gotten head boy, and now Lily, _his_ Lily and Potter were getting all friendly and it made Severus _sick_. Potter didn't deserve Lily. He had no right to be friends with her, yet somehow she was suddenly blind to his arrogance and cruelty. Severus just couldn't understand it.

He was brought out of his furious musings by the sound of laughter. He hadn't even noticed that in his anger he'd walked outside and was halfway towards the lake. He looked around for the source of the laughter and saw it was coming from two students not very far away. One of them was attempting to get onto a bucking broom, while the other was bent over almost double in hysterics.

Curiosity overtook him, and Severus made his way towards them, pausing behind one of the bushes close by to conceal himself from their view.

Up close it was clear that the two students were Lily and Potter, and a fresh wave of anger rose through him at the sight.

"James, stop. You're going to hurt yourself." Lily cried, through fits of laughter as Potter, making an utter fool of himself, was still attempting to mount the out-of-control broom.

"No Lily, I've got this. You said you'd go on a date with me if I could manage to get on this broom, and I'm holding you to that." Potter panted as he wrestled with the clearly jinxed broom.

Lily was still giggling, and Severus couldn't understand why she wasn't yelling at Potter for even suggesting she'd agree to go out with him, but she just replied with a simple "I know what I said, but I'd rather not have my first date with you in the hospital wing."

Severus didn't believe his ears, but when Potters obnoxious laughter, mingled with the sounds of him struggling to get on the broom followed Lily's statement, he realised that he had in fact, heard her correctly. _She was flirting with him._

He could feel the anger bubbling up inside him and did not trust himself to stay where he was.

He turned away to walk back to the castle, reassuring himself as he went that what he'd seen meant nothing. Potter wouldn't manage to get on the broom, but even if he did, Lily wouldn't actually go out with him. She hadn't meant what she'd said. It was pointless to worry about what would never happen.

Severus had barely taken two steps before he heard the unmistakable sound of Lily's cheering. He spun around so fast he cracked his neck but he took no notice.

Potter had somehow managed to get on the still madly bucking broomstick, and though he looked as if he was struggling to stay on the broom, both he and Lily were grinning broadly.

"Told you I'd do it!" Potter whooped loudly, jumping the small distance from the broom back to the ground and standing beside Lily joyfully.

"Oh I had no doubt you'd manage it James, I just knew it'd be funny to watch." Lily replied, waving her wand at the broom which immediately stopped shaking and hovered at waist level above the ground besides the two Gryffindors.

"So..." Potter prompted.

"So?" Lily asked with a smile that was aimed solely for Potter and made Severus shudder with rage, that Potter of all people would receive one of Lily's smiles.

"First Hogsmeade trip of the year tomorrow. You said you'd go with me if I could get on the broom." he told her.

Severus was surprised to see Potter run a nervous hand through his hair as he grinned sheepishly down at Lily who was almost an entire foot shorter than him, but despite Potter's nerves, Severus held his breath as the second it took for Lily to reply felt like years. He was so sure she was about to turn Potter down as cruelly as Potter deserved. He couldn't wait to see Potter be crushed by Lily's rejection.

But it didn't come. And Severus really didn't believe his ears when he heard Lily's voice say "Of course I'm still going to go with you James. I would've done even if you hadn't gotten on the broom, that was only a joke. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow." He saw her cheeks were tinged with a red blush but she was still smiling that same beautiful smile, that should have been meant for him, yet was only for Potter.

Severus reached for his wand beneath his cloak as anger cursed through his veins, all directed at Potter who had stolen the only person that had really truly mattered to him, with his arrogance and lies and stupidity.

Severus knew what curse he'd use. He'd created it to be used for situations just like this one. _Sectumsempra_ was on the tip of his tongue, when he heard voices approaching from behind him.

Black, Lupin and Pettigrew were approaching Potter and Lily, and were very close to passing the spot Severus was hiding.

He retreated further into the bushes, mad at the chance he'd missed to curse Potter, and angry that he was no longer able to hear what Potter and Lily were saying.

Severus watched as the three new comers approached Lily and Potter. He was too far away now, to hear what they were saying, but from the way Potter threw his arm around Lily's shoulders and grinned at his friends as he spoke, he was no doubt bragging at his accomplishment of a date with Lily.

Severus scowled as he watched the Gryffindors pass back towards the castle, all smiling and laughing, as if they didn't have a care in the world, Lily grinning as broadly as the others, though she was wearing a pretty blush that intensified every time Potter grinned down at her with an adoring twinkle in his eyes.

And Severus didn't understand. Because Lily had just agreed to a date with Potter, but she hated him. She said he was arrogant and cruel and rude and selfish and mean. She'd said he was a bully, she'd... she'd...

And then Severus realised that Lily had actually said very few of these things.

Lily had called Potter an arrogant toerag. She'd said that she would rather date the giant squid. She had argued with him for years. But Lily had never once said she hated him. That had always been Severus. He tried to recall every conversation he and Lily had ever had about Potter, and Severus realised that he'd always started every rant, every complaint... Lily had only ever agreed that Potter was arrogant, but she'd never said she hated him.

And then Severus recalled every argument Lily had had with Potter. He realised how pointless and meaningless most of them had been and how the majority of the time, Lily hadn't been upset after any of them. He remembered how many times Potter had made stupid extravagant gestures to ask Lily out, and how Severus had foolishly mistaken her small smiles after to be from the joy of turning him down. Now he realised that they were the very opposite. She had been flattered, delighted.

With still another pang of resentment Severus recalled how many arguments he himself had had with Lily _about_ Potter. All the times she'd tried to defend him and Black and the werewolf.

That was when Severus Snape realised that perhaps he had been wrong all along. Lily Evans had never belonged to him. Because even when she claimed not to like Potter, when she called him arrogant and rejected all his advances with harmless jinxes and cheeky comebacks, she had never once looked at Severus the way she had always looked at Potter. She had never once laughed with Severus the way she laughed with Potter, even while she was arguing with him, and she never would.

And Severus Snape decided then that he would devote himself, wholey and completely, to the Dark Lord, who he knew would be able to grant him the power of seeing James Potter dead. And that was all Severus wanted in that moment.

...

 _So, to clear a few things up._

 _It may be obvious here that I_ despise _Snape. But in my opinion, I didn't exaggerate anything here, because I honestly believe that this is how Snape thought of Lily. He didn't love her. He didn't care about her. He was obsessed with her and if she had stayed friends with him he would have been possessive and obsessive. If Snape really cared about Lily he wouldn't have wanted her husband and son to die. Snape was simply a horrible person. I'm aware that not everyone shares these views and that's fine. One of my many favourite things about the hp books is that there's so many different ways to interpret everything._

 _Also, I mention in this that Snape says James is a cruel bully and Lily thinks he's arrogant. I won't pretend that he wasn't very big headed when he was younger, but in my opinion James had fully grown out of his arrogance by the time this takes place. Snape is playing the victim here, even in his own head, but in reality, James is no longer any bit of a bully, he's quite the opposite at this point. Whereas Snape thinks its completely okay to torture muggle borns for fun._

 _James Potter is one of my favourite characters in the series and I think Snapes views of him are wholey unfair and, obviously, one sided_ _because every time we see teenage James_ _it's through Snapes p.o.v., which although still has facts, may not tell the whole story._

Wow. Okay that rant was a lot longer than I expected. Well, I hope you enjoy, and please please review.

For people who don't agree with me, about my opinion on James and Snape please be kind because everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I would love a chance to debate my views on the whole Snape/James thing with anyone who, like me, enjoys a good debate, although I must warn you first, I'm a very argumentative person, so be prepared!

All my love,

Until the very end.


End file.
